When I started thinking about composing my Christmas epistle, I considered writing several pages detailing all the challenges I have faced since I sold my house in Terrace Bay and moved into Thunder Bay. The experience has confirmed that I am not a happy city dweller. The traffic, the air, and the multitude of strangers all push my emotional reserves to the limit. There were some compensations, especially when there were medical crises, but overall, I was pining for the intimacy of the community I had left, even if the mill sometimes made the air unbreathable.
My mother knew I was unhappy here, and offered to pay for my next move. I was considering my options when she had her stroke. At that time, I was grateful to be living nearby.
Dear fellow pilgrims,
Welcome to the season of Advent! I hope that you will enjoy every minute of
this magical time of year.
I am in transition now.
The Northern Ontario chapter of my life is drawing to a close, and I
will be returning to the West this coming spring. It won’t be the same as I remember, because
there have been a lot of changes since I headed off to Hearst in June 1996.
Katinka suffered a catastrophic stroke and died in the early
hours of July 25, right after my 71st birthday. She was the one remaining person who has
known me all my life. I will miss her
every day until I see her again. It was
probably the right time for her to go, since her quality of life was slowly
spiralling downwards, but I wasn’t as ready as I thought I was. I am now the oldest surviving female in my
family line – a matriarch. I hope some
special privileges go with that.
My call now, as I see it, is to be a grandmother. I have never had as much time with my
grandchildren as I would have liked. I
am sure other activities will present themselves after my move, when I am ready
for them. For now, downsizing is the
primary theme of my life. I have been taking
a load to the Salvation Army thrift shop almost every week. Sometimes I can’t resist bringing something
else home, but it is always less than I brought.
I visited my descendants in Edmonton twice this year, in the
spring and in the fall. Beth and I
managed a brief escape to Miette Hot Springs.
When Katinka died, I seemed to inherit her aches and
pains. I had a lot of trouble with my
right leg, and was not able to resume my line dancing classes. That was a big disappointment. Fortunately, I am slowly healing.
Weather permitting, I will be spending Christmas in Terrace
Bay this year. I am very grateful for the
invitation. This will allow me to go to
church with my former parishioners at St. Andrew’s United Church. They are very special to me. Three of them have died since I left,
reminding me that nothing is permanent except change, and we must make the most
of whatever life offers each day.
My situation resonates with the Christmas story. When Mary became pregnant, she and Joseph had
to leave their old life behind and undertake parenthood and a new lifestyle as
a married couple. As if that was not
challenge enough, they were forced to flee their homeland and become refugees
in the nation that had enslaved their people many years before. When they finally returned home, both agony
and glory awaited them. There is no way
of knowing or controlling what our future life will look like. The best we can do is take one step at a
time, in faith. Even if we don’t have
the road map or the GPS, we know Somebody who does.
May you all experience the glory of Christmas, and give and
receive love, joy and peace.
No comments:
Post a Comment