Nothing will help you if you don't have the motivation to act. You can't be like the person who lies in bed shivering, but won't get up to get another blanket because he tells himself he's too tired. Most of us seek help from experts when we haven't begun to do the things we know we need to do for ourselves.
Then there's that small matter of discipline. Just about anything really worth doing requires motivation, courage, and the willingness to practice.
-- Harriet Lerner, The Dance of Fear
Christine's commentary: There are no magic formulas. We are the only ones who can bring about lasting change. Therapists can help us see things differently and help us plan strategies, but the hard work -- and the suffering -- is something we must do ourselves.