Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Not Good in Bed

Certainty is the hallmark of stagnation.
-- Rev. Dr. Ursa

Rainbows are the gift of unsettled weather.
-- Dancing Bear

Before we can change a relationship,
we must become willing to risk the relationship.
-- Dr. Ursa

If you hitch your wagon to a star,
don't expect to control the destination.
-- Dancing Bear

Some birds won't leave their cage even if the door is left open.
They need a closed door behind them before they can move on.
-- Dancing Bear

Love that demands something in return is not love at all.
-- Rev. Dr. Ursa

There are two kinds of learners who are difficult to coach --
the ones who are perpetually upset about their mistakes,
and the ones who don't believe that they are capable of making
-- Professor Ursa

If no one objects to what I am doing,
maybe I should be doing something else.
-- Dr. Ursa

Hope prevents us from clinging to what we have
and frees us to move away from the safe place
and enter unknown and fearful territory. -- Henri Nouwen

When someone tells me, in one way or another, that I have
disappointed her (or him) by not living up to her fantasy, the
fault lies not with me, but with the fantasy. I will serve my
critic best by allowing her to sort out the debris of the
inevitable fantasy-reality collision for herself instead of trying
to alleviate her distress by twisting myself out of shape.
-- Ursula Maxima

No matter what I say I believe or even think I believe, the way
I live my life is my only authentic statement of faith.
-- Ursula the Heretic

Before embarking on any kind of self-improvement program,
shop for a hard hat. People will be unkind if you fail. They will
be even more unkind if you succeed.
-- Dr. Ursa

I once had a rose named after me, and I was very flattered.
But, I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue,
"No good in a bed, but fine against a wall." ~Eleanor Roosevelt

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a
good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.
~George Burns

Santa Claus has the right idea ... Visit people only once a year.
~Victor Borge

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become
happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential
food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. ~Alex Levine

Money can't buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more
pleasant form of misery ~Spike Milligan

Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.
~Herbert Henry Asquith

Don't worry about avoiding temptation ... As you grow older, it
will avoid you. ~Winston Churchill

The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good, spit it out. ~Unknown

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too
old to go anywhere. ~Billy Crystal

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